How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship – Our Experience

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Here’s How To Survive a Long Distance Relationship!

Being in a long distance relationship isn’t easy – we know that from first-hand experience. We met while travelling and were in a long distance relationship for the first few months afterwards.

Starting a long distance relationship was something that we didn’t set out looking for – but our connection was super strong and we wanted to make it work.

From planning activities online to other (long distance) date ideas, we ended up having fun with it! It was difficult, but we avoided major problems and came out the other side stronger and together!

So, if you’re wondering how to survive a long distance relationship for a long period of time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, here some of the tips that helped us get through!

Talk Regularly, But Not ALL The Time

man holding phone while standing on street how to survive a long distance relationship
It can be hard to resist messaging when you are apart…

Talking regularly to your significant other is important – especially when you don’t see each other often. This way you can stay updated with their life and they know what is happening in yours.

Talking every day has really helped us through our long-distance relationship. It wasn’t that we said in the beginning that we would talk every day – it just kind of became a rhythm that we got into after a while since it worked well for us.

Maybe it’s impossible for you and your partner to talk every day due to work or time zones. In this case, don’t set unrealistic expectations. Try to see what works for the both of you and after a while you’ll settle into a routine where you can look forward to talking without feeling stressed.

One danger of talking to your significant other is that you might want to talk to him/her ALL the time. We get that – and we’ve both been there before as well (at least Lisa has), but talking to each other constantly throughout the day can have its disadvantages.

One of the things that we have noticed is that it can be quite difficult to get things done (be it work, school, or otherwise) when you’re constantly texting – and that’s not good.

Read Next – How To Cope With Moving Away From Loved Ones

Know When You’ll See Each Other Next

airplane wing out of plane window with blue sky behind
Flying to see your partner? Been there, done that!

Knowing when we get to see each other next (in person) really helped us get through the more difficult days of our long distance relationship. You don’t have to see each other every few weeks – no doubt that it would be nice but sometimes that’s just not realistic – but knowing when you’ll see each other again can really make a difference.

During the long distance part of our relationship we saw each other every two to three months. Most of the time we knew when we’d see one another again before we had to say “see you later”. That really helped since we knew exactly how long we had to wait and could mentally prepare ourselves for it.

While this really worked for us, we know of other couples in long distance relationships that preferred to be a bit more spontaneous and didn’t like to plan that far ahead.

We believe that it kind of depends on your personalities. If you’re generally quite organized people that like to plan ahead then give it a try. Otherwise, maybe also give it a try anyways since you don’t know if it works for you until you have tried it!

Set Rules And Talk About Your Expectations

couple sitting in floor together chatting
It’s always good to set rules and expectations in person if you can!

When you’re in a long distance relationship and don’t get to see each other that frequently it is even more important to set rules and talk about your expectations compared to being in a “local relationship”. This way you can avoid misunderstandings that could potentially harm your relationship.

We were pretty honest with each other from the beginning about how we saw our relationship. That’s why we decided right away that we wanted to be exclusive and going on dates or flirting with other people would not be okay.

Of course, it’s acceptable to grab a coffee, drink or even dinner with a friend – at least for us it was. However, you should be considerate and tell your partner beforehand. Otherwise, he or she might worry that you are trying to keep a secret and reads more into it than there actually is.

Yes, it might be over the top and maybe even irrational – but sometimes our minds work in irrational ways, especially when it comes to long distance relationships. If you talk about where you stand and any concerns that you have, you can build a strong foundation for your long distance relationship.

Read Also – How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship

Plan Dates

calendar pages on desk with phone and coffee mug
It’s always fun to plan – gives you something to look forward to!

Planning dates when you are physically separated might sound impossible at first – but trust us, there are still plenty of things that you can do together even when you are apart.

The easiest long-distance date is probably to watch a movie together. With technology these days this is really easy to do. You could pick a movie together on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or another streaming service you use and watch it while being on video chat at the same time. Even though it is not as good as watching a movie together in person (no cuddles), it still feels great to do something together.

Similarly, you could also decide to have a dinner date. You could, for example, cook the same meal and then eat it together while talking about your days and what you have been up to.

There are plenty more ideas out there – some even more romantic than we have mentioned. So, have a brainstorm with your partner and see what you come up with!

Spend Time With Your Friends

When in a long distance relationship, it is really easy to become so focused on your partner that you forget about your friends that are physically in the same location as you.

However, it is important to also spend time with your friends. First of all, it is important to keep your social life alive since you never know what might happen down the line. Furthermore, spending time with other people usually makes time pass faster.

So use the time you have to hang out with your friends and have fun. This is what we did and it helped make the time we were separated pass easier. And we always had things to talk about with each other – and there were other people we could talk about our relationship with.

Talk About The Future 

couple standing at train station saying goodbye how to survive a long distance relationship
It’s important to have those conversations in person…

Long distance relationships are definitely doable (if you are with the right person) but they are still strenuous. That’s why talking about your future can be very important when it comes to surviving a long distance relationship.

Knowing whether your future plans align or are at least compatible can be helpful for determining whether there is a future for your relationship. If there seems to be a future long-term connection, setting a potential end date for the long distance part of your relationship can help you keep going when things might feel difficult.

Read Next – Things To Discuss Before Moving In Together

There is evidence to suggest that it is easier to survive a long distance relationship if you know when you will be able to be in the same location. For us, this was definitely very helpful. While it is not always possible to set an exact date, having a general idea about what your future plans look like can help quite a bit to make it through.

And there you have it – a few of our tips for how we survived a long distance relationship. Would we do it again? Probably not – but we are glad that we had the experience because we think that it made us stronger now that we are together in person. We cherish our time together – and we look forward to what the future holds, too!

As always, Stay Curious,


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How to survive a long distance relationship