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Relationships

Things To Discuss Before Moving In Together: Our Experience & Tips

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There Are Quite A Few Things To Discuss Before Moving In Together

If you are considering moving in with your significant other, then you are in the right place! We dated long distance before making the jump to move in together so we didn’t have a TON of together time to know everything about the other person. That said, that was why it was so important for us to discuss things first!

We had a list of topics/questions/considerations that we wanted to make sure we discussed before we moved in – and below you will find each of them listed. Fast forward to now: we are living together happily and we attribute much of that to our communication early on!

So, if you’re ready to make the big move – here are a few things that you should discuss first!

Why Do You Want To Move In Together?

Talking about why you want to move in together is very important before you make a decision. If the only reason for moving in together is to save rent money, then we would recommend that you really think long and hard whether this is the right thing to do right now.

We originally moved in together to be able to spend more time together (we lived on different continents). Admittedly, our situation was a bit unique, but we still had a long conversation about why we wanted to move in together before it happened.

Who Is Moving In Or Are You Looking For A New Place Together?

When moving in together, there are also a few logistics that you should consider. Are you moving in with your partner? Is your partner moving in with you? Or are you looking for a new place together?

If you are looking for a new place for the both of you, then you should plan in a little more time to go house/apartment/condo hunting – especially when you live in a bigger city. Finding a place in a price range that works for both of you can take a little bit of time – we are speaking from experience here.

How Much Space Do You Need?

Another important thing to discuss is about the combined space that you will need in your place. If one of you is working from home, you might need some space for a home office. Perhaps one of you has a hobby with equipment that takes up a lot of room? Same rules apply – get a space that works for you.

Related to this, you should also talk about how long you see yourself living in the place. If you know that you want to get a dog or have kids within a year or so then maybe it would make sense to look for a bigger space right from the beginning.

In our case, we both work at home but we are fine with not having an extra office since our living room is big enough for desks, shelves, etc. We also know that we don’t want to have pets or kids in the next two to three years – that’s why a small apartment works really well for us right now.

How Are You Splitting Rent & Expenses?

Before moving in together, you should come to an agreement about how you are going to split rent and expenses related to living together. One thing you could do is create a joint bank account where you pay money in every month that you then use to pay rent, groceries, cleaning supplies etc.

We have personally not done it this way in the beginning. Instead, we were using a spreadsheet to keep track of our expenses (which we still are) and wrote down who bought what. We then tried to come out somewhat equal at the end of the month. Now, we have a joint bank account which admittedly makes things easier.

We also agreed on splitting the rent 50-50 since we had jobs that paid a similar wage. In case one of you earns significantly more than the other, you might decide to go for a slightly different split.

Whose Name Is On The Lease?

Before signing any contracts, you should talk about whose name is going to be on the lease. Depending on the country, both of your names have to be on the lease if it is your primary residence.

Our names are both on the lease since it just made the most sense for us and we moved into a new place together. Just make sure you know the rules and regulations in your area of residence and then talk about it.

How Are You Splitting Chores?

In addition to talking about how you are splitting expenses, you should also talk about splitting chores. This way you can avoid surprises and potential points of tension that might arise otherwise.

You don’t have to come up with a full weekly chore plan (we don’t have that), but you should talk about the general things such as how are you dividing the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc.

Maybe there is something that you really dislike doing and that your partner doesn’t mind. Knowing these things ahead of time can make a big difference to avoid arguments in the future.

We usually try to split the chores quite evenly since we have similar work schedules. However, Lisa usually ends up doing the laundry while Bruce might do the dishes a little bit more often.

After a while you’ll most likely just get into a natural routine – but it’s important to have an honest (non-confrontational) conversation about it.

Your Likes And Dislikes

When moving in together it is also important to talk about your likes and dislikes. Maybe you really dislike it when there are dirty dishes in the sink or maybe you have to make your bed every morning.

Letting your partner know about these things and learning more about his or her likes and dislikes can really help you to avoid unneccessary arguments or moments of tension.

We had a few things that we talked about before moving in together such as putting the toilet seat down but most of our likes and dislikes we learnt about within the first week of living together. In these early stages, it is important to talk about the issues in a normal conversation without getting annoyed.

We did this and it worked quite well. However, talking about some of the main things before even moving in together might be a better idea.

Can Guests Stay Over?

While this might not be something that comes up to often during the year, talking about whether guests can stay over once you have moved in is a good idea.

This way you’ll have a general idea whether it would be okay with your partner if friends stayed over regularly or if it is something that should only happen on special occasions.

And there you have it – 8 things to discuss before moving in together. There are probably plenty more things that you can cover but these are what were important/relevant for us. As long as you focus on what is important for you and your partner, you should be just fine! Best of luck – and happy moving.

As always, Stay Curious,

-B&L

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Things to discuss before moving in together
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