Wondering What NOT To Do on a First Date? Read on!
There are plenty of things you should not do on a first date. These things are going to be different for a girl and for guys, but we wanted to keep these ideas general so that they can apply to a variety of scenarios and personalities.
If you are looking for ideas for what to do on a first date with a girl or a guy (maybe you even met online), then that’ll be in another post we are writing real soon!
For now, these are the things that – if avoided – can make a first date special! Obviously, this isn’t a “concrete” list since everyone is going to have their preferences and pet peeves.
That said, this list is from personal experiences – and from the experiences of our friends who’ve had some tales to tell over the years. Ready to go? Let’s learn what not to do!
Don’t Be Late
This one is obvious but some people genuinely don’t care if you are a few minutes late. It all comes down to communication.
Are you leaving work or going to hit traffic that might delay you? Communicate that to your date. 99% of the time, if things are communicated/though beforehand, they won’t be an issue even if you are late.
You can also just plan ahead to not be late but of course unexpected delays happen. This one boils down to expectations and communication.
If you are seeing a show that has a defined start time, definitely try to plan ahead to not even have the chance at being late.
Likewise, if your date HATES people who are late, it’s probably in your best interest to not be late so as to make the best first impression you can make.
Even if you make it there a little late, lateness can demonstrate that you are disorganized, or worse – that you don’t take the person seriously and respect them and their time. That can be a big red flag for some people!
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Don’t Pressure Your Date
This can be regarding the activity you do or can even relate to a good night kiss or more – never pressure your date into something they don’t want to do.
During the date, it should be clear to you how things are going and whether your date is enjoying themselves and their time with you.
Use this as a gauge to choose the next bar for drinks, which activity is next, or what happens at the end.
Don’t NOT Have a Plan
This one can be read as “always have SOME sort of plan”. Just “going with the flow” is fun in the movies but in real life, not having at the very least an idea of what you two are doing can spell disaster from the get go.
The place you go, thing you do, whether you eat, etc. can dictate someone’s entire day leading up to the date.
Should I at before? What shoes should I wear? Are we going to be mostly inside or outside? These are all details that – if left undiscussed – can make a date not enjoyable for one or both people.
Want to hike to a local lookout but she’s in heels? You’re in trouble. Want to eat a massive, fancy dinner but he already ate? That’s going to be a no-go. Basically just plan ahead!
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Don’t Complain/Don’t Be Negative
This one goes back to point 3 about “having some sort of plan” but it is also it’s own point. Basically just don’t be negative. No one likes a source of negative energy.
In fact, not very many people want to be around negative people. This negativity can relate to the activity you are doing, the weather, or many other aspects about the date.
And, if you remember correctly, if you plan ahead (even a little bit) you can avoid things like bad weather, doing an activity that is not your/their style, or otherwise.
Basically, don’t complain but ALSO try not to put yourself in a situation where you might have the chance to complain in the first place!
Don’t Overthink It Too Much
Having said the above point, talking about the plan for the date to have options can be enough to make sure you are covered for all the possibilities. That’s as far as you probably need to go.
As for personally, don’t overthink everything about you. If you are going on a date, there is probably at least ONE thing that the other person likes about you! Take that as a positive and go with it!
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Don’t Forget to Ask Questions
Since we’ve already established that listening is important, give your date the chance to speak by serving up questions that they can answer! Here are some questions and conversation starters you could use.
Asking questions is so important because it can allow your date to open up – and opening up is key to forming strong relationships and lasting impressions.
You don’t have to ask super deep questions but avoiding questions that be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” is important.
For example, asking “do you like dogs?” can be answered with simple “yes” or “no” phrases whereas “tell me more about where you grew up..” allows the person to take the answer any way they like!
Don’t Talk Over Your Date
Listening is more important than speaking so be sure to allow for time for them to chat. If you have a side story that is based off a talking point of your date, save it for when they are done their story or point.
Talking over them/interrupting can seem rude, too eager to connect, or that your points are more valuable than theirs.
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And there you have it – 7 tips for things that you should avoid doing on a first date. In the end, this list is going to differ for everyone, so use it as a guideline.
You should be able to know yourself, read your date, and generally just be aware of their needs/personality. If you do this – show that you care – you should be just fine! Let us know how it goes!
As always, Stay Curious,
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