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Relationships

What To Talk About On A First Date: Questions & Conversation Starters

Wondering What To Talk About On A First Date? Read On!

So, you’re heading out on a date.. and you’re wondering what some good questions and conversation starters are, right? You are not alone! The topic of what to talk about on a first date is a hot one.

Whether you are a girl or guy, first date or second, finding things to talk about (until you are totally comfortable with one another) can be a challenge! This can be especially hard if you already know the person in some way.

So, to tackle this challenge with confidence on your next date, we’ve outlined a bunch of great topics and conversation starters – and how you might phrase them! Just remember to be yourself and be sure to be a great listener – and you’ll be just fine!

Your Childhood

Man and woman sitting on metal chairs with table between them
Just grab a seat and have a chat!

A classic topic to start with is to go back to the beginning – their childhood. Talking about the past can really help you get an understanding of who the person is in front of you and how they got there.

Often times, answering one question about childhood will lead to a story or two which your date will likely end up elaborating on. Their responses might also give you talking points to remember for later so that you can ask about details that pop up!

Keep in mind that not everyone has a pleasant childhood – so if you feel like your date doesn’t want to be as open about it – move on! If you continue to go out, you will learn about it soon enough.

Here are some questions that you might think to ask:

  • Where did you grow up?
  • Did you have pets growing up?
  • What were you like as a kid?
  • Did you have any nicknames?

Travel

Travel is one of those topics that people feel you have to be a “pro” at or you should avoid it. We don’t think this is true. Everyone is a traveler – and that goes for the weekend trips around your town or city or crossing continents frequently. Everyone’s travel experiences are different – and that makes them perfect to talk about!

For us, we met through travel and share a love/passion for it. So, travel was an easy topic for us to talk about early on. Sharing stories about our experiences in places as well as sharing “bucket list” places where we want to go together has always been a great conversation point for us. Maybe it will work for you!

If you are into travel, here are a few questions that you might think to ask:

  • What’s you favorite place you have travelled to?
  • What’s your #1 bucket list destination?
  • Do you have a trip coming up?
  • Any time a trip went wrong?

Your Neighborhood/City

Man and woman sitting on chairs talking to each other and holding white cups
There’s plenty to discuss about your city or town….

This topic is a great one because there’s a good chance you are there right now. It can be easy to talk about where you currently are – the city, town, and even the neighborhood you are living in. These kinds of questions are especially good if you are new to town and just learning about the new place.

If you meet someone out of town or while you are traveling, talking about where you call “home” is a great way for them to get to know you, and vice versa.

It’s always pretty telling where someone lays down their roots – even if it’s only temporary or for work. Basically, you can learn a lot about someone based on where they currently are in life!

Here are a few questions that you might ask:

  • What’s your favorite hang out spot?
  • What’s your favorite restaurant?
  • What drew you to this city/town?

Hobbies/Free Time

You can also learn a TON about a person based on what they like to do in their free time. The hobbies someone holds can say a lot about that person – and so talking about them is a great way to dive deep into what makes your date “tick”.

For example, we both like to be physically active so it was easy for us to talk about that early on when we were in the “getting to know you” phase!

Hobbies are also great because once you know what the other person likes/dislikes, you can plan another date around doing that if it’s something you both enjoy or want to try!

As for hobbies, here are a few questions you could ask.

  • What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?
  • Do you like to cook?
  • Have you read a good book recently?
  • What does your weekend usually look like?
  • Do you like to spend time outdoors?

Fun Memories

man in red shirt hugging smiling woman with blurry background
Talking about fun memories can lighten the mood.

For a first date especially, it’s a good idea to keep it light, so sticking to fun memories (instead of sad or scary ones) might be a good idea. That said, if you get the vibe that your date is more serious or reserved on this date, then ask accordingly and don’t force it!

Often times, fun memories are a great way to laugh and self-reflect. There might even be a story or two attached to the memory so you can follow-up on that at another time!

Here are some questions you might want to ask:

  • What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you this year?
  • What makes you laugh?
  • Do you embarrass easily?

Your Passions

When we talk about passions, we mean more than just hobbies or interests. Passions are more like the things that you could/would dedicate your life to. These are the ideals that make you “tick” and they are a pretty important thing to cover on a first date!

We are both passionate about travel and exploring new places – so that gets covered in “travel”. However, it’s still a passion we share so it’s something we can talk about at length.

Learning about passions is one thing, but also understanding where that passion comes from can help you and your date open up deeper!

As for passions, here are a few leading/open questions you could ask:

  • What are you passionate about?
  • Do you have a dream?
  • What would your dream job be?

Food And Drinks

Man and woman holding cutlery in their hands and talking
Everyone likes food and drink – so be sure to explore that!

As humans, everyone has to eat and drink. That’s just fact! So, be sure to cover your dates favorites or dislikes. If you happen to be out for dinner and/or drinks, then you can use what they order or what is on the menu as a starting off point for topics of conversation.

That said, remember to be open-minded. Someone might like completely different things/tastes than you – and that’s okay. You might also find someone who likes basically the same things that you do – in which case, yay!

For example, Lisa is into eating healthy and so is Bruce…. but it was interesting to hear about Lisa’s passion for healthier food. That knowledge has since rubbed off on Bruce!

For food and drinks, here are some things that you might want to ask:

  • Do you prefer coffee or tea?
  • What’s your favorite meal?
  • Is there a food you absolutely despise?
  • What’s your go-to drink?

Your Friends

A very important topic of conversation can be friends. The friends someone keeps is a reflection of their own values and personality, so it’s a great way to understand more about your date if you want to know more about them without asking!

That said, friends can also bring up some sad memories so be sure to gauge how your date reacts to the topic. Also, don’t ask “do you have many friends?” because that’s a loaded and stupid question.

Instead, you could ask something like:

  • Tell me about the friendships you have?
  • What makes a true friend for you?

Favorite Things (Movie, Song etc.)

Couple sitting on stools talking to each other with greenery around what to talk about on a first date
There are so many topics you could cover when it comes to “favorites”…

Finally, it’s never a bad idea to ask about “favorites”. There are so many different topics you could ask that the list goes on – so just start somewhere and move forward as you learn more about your date.

Keep in mind these are good “filler” questions if you are stuck – but you will run out eventually. You have to ask open questions instead of ones with a single answer because open questions create dialogue whereas these types of simple questions create an interview-style date. Nobody likes that.

As for favourites, here are a few topics you could cover:

  • What’s your favorite movie? Actor or actress?
  • What kind of music do you listen to?
  • What’s your favorite book?
  • Favorite animal? How about color?

And there you have it – a few topics and questions to ask on a first date! In the end, there are many topics to choose from but you have hopefully gotten loads of ideas here. Just use these as a starting point, remember to listen to your date, and you will have plenty to go off of! Have fun and good luck!

As always, Stay Curious,
-B&L

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What to talk about on a first date